13 Things I Learned From Living With Guys
Do all guys watch Netflix when they sh*t?
BY Sammy Nickalls | Aug 23, 2016 | Sex & Relationships
There are some aspects of the male brain that a woman can only truly comprehend after she shares a confined apartment space with a man. I am one such woman, and I can say that dudes are mysterious house mates.
Over the past several years, I've lived with several guys for several different reasons—they were my roommate's significant other or strangers who happened to offer a room with cheap rent. Whether you move in with a partner or have some male roommates you found online—à la New Girl—living with guys is a learning experience.
Here are 13 lessons I learned from my dude roommates. Take them as you will.
1. You forget that you live with guys at very inconvenient moments.
Like when you blearily get up in the morning and walk into the hallway in your underwear—and accidentally show them your whole ass. After a while, you stop caring.
@sammynickalls whyyyyy doeas this never happen to me =(((( =P— alex ross (@AlexRossPhoto) August 17, 2016
2. You have different tastes.
Sure, at first my male roommates weren't too into my sexy poster of Benedict Cumberbatch or my "uteruses before duderuses" embroidery. I can speak from experience when I say that after a while, they stop caring.
my brother's girlfriend bought me this and I'm in love pic.twitter.com/t9pTM9tLiY— Sammy Nickalls (@sammynickalls) July 13, 2016
3. You witness the weirdest eating habits.
Burritos for breakfast and pancakes for dinner. In fact, I'm fairly certain that most of my male roommates in the past never, ever cooked—they just ordered junk online. And you will probably end up partaking, too.
4. Knock. Always. Knock.
Do I really have to explain?
5. They will likely see you at your least charming.
Like when you're eating peanut butter straight from the jar with your greasy hair sticking up in odd places, and then you accidentally get peanut butter on your sheet mask. Yes, I'm speaking from personal experience.
6. You find strange things lying around with no clue how they ended up there.
Case in point:
Still don't know how this lemon ended up on my balcony. Some other things I have found, inexplicably, in my apartment: a traffic cone, a "yield" road sign, a bra that didn't belong to me, and ample amounts of Silly String.
7. When men have to take a shit, they take half an hour, minimum.
Do they fall in every time? Or are they just relishing sitting down on the seat? Half the time, I could hear my male roommate watching Netflix on his iPad while he was on the toilet, like it was his own personal movie theater.
8. And they always manage to leave the toilet seat up.
You know, so that you fall in every time. Particularly at 3 am.
9. The sink is always covered with little bits of hair.
You could probably reconstruct a whole new roommate with all those beard trimmings in the sink. I get it; you're a man.
10. They won't necessarily do the heavy lifting for you.
Your roommates aren't your own personal movers—a realisation I quickly came to after I lugged a massively heavy air conditioning unit down the street and up several flights of stairs. Sigh.
I AM TINY & LUGGED THIS A/C UNIT UP TWO FLIGHTS OF STAIRS & BRUISED MY ARMS BUT INSTALLED IT & I FEEL TRIUMPHANT AF pic.twitter.com/gVMwv9WVAt— Sammy Nickalls (@sammynickalls) May 30, 2016
11. You can't hang your underwear all over the apartment.
Without them getting awkward about it, at least. One time, I decided to do it anyway just to watch my roommate's reaction, and he became so uncomfortable that he shut himself in his room. Ladies wear underwear too, folks.
I call it "this underwear can't go in the dryer" pic.twitter.com/4rDX3rw9Hj— Sammy Nickalls (@sammynickalls) March 20, 2016
12. There's always something to drink.
After a rough day, you can count on your dude roommate to have cold beers in the fridge. And since they're looking for a drinking buddy, they're often more than happy to share.
13. Living with guys is just like living with anyone. Really.
Your life isn't an episode of New Girl; it's just like getting to know anyone else—and like living with women, you have the potential either to be totally pissed off by your roommate or to make some solid friends. Not a bad deal.
From: Esquire US