As of Sunday night, the Oscars still hadn’t announced a host, which meant that the 76th annual Golden Globes—the black sheep of the awards circuit—could boast it actually had its shit together. Well, until it didn’t. Despite the evening having uncontroversial emcees, Sandra Oh and Andy Samberg, the duo played it particularly safe, garnering mild and courteous laughs, and quickly filtered out of the show. Then the shadowy clan known as the Hollywood Foreign Press Association pulled off its greatest heist in years.
It conspired to give Green Book and Bohemian Rhapsody the big awards of the night, which prompted Twitter rage and fearful head scratching, while spoiling more chances to hear Lady Gaga give a teary speech. Not that it really matters. This show, by nature of its voting body and marginal impact on the awards season, doesn’t need to be perfect or prestigious or even logical. Which is why the three-hour telecast of drunken celebrities awkwardly smiling and giving impassioned speeches still enlivens the early January doldrums, regardless of the outcomes.
In case you missed it, here were some of the best, worst, and memorable moments from an awkward, endearing, eye-rolling night.
it would appear Glenn Close also did not expect Glenn Close to win pic.twitter.com/5cXcVRcSHT— Jarett Wieselman (@JarettSays) January 7, 2019
Best Night: Arguably nobody was more shocked to have won a Golden Globe than Glenn Close, who took home the award for Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama. She sat stupefied in her chair upon hearing her name, then gathered herself for an emotional speech that earned a standing ovation halfway through her delivery. “Women, we’re nurturers, that’s what’s expected of us,” Close said with tears running down her cheeks. “We have our children. We have our husbands if we’re lucky enough, and our partners, whoever. But we have to find personal fulfillment!” It took 14 years for her movie to get made, probably because it’s called The Wife, she reasoned. "Women are feeling enabled to speak out now,” Close finished. “I do think men will always be uncomfortable with powerful women, though. It's hard for them to deal with it. There will be a backlash—but I'd like to think we will not go back."
Worst Laugh: The problem with playing an opening monologue down the middle—being cute and self-aware, not too mean and only a little sly—is that when you pivot to sincerity, it’s hard to tell. Sandra Oh ran into this problem to finish out the introduction. After engaging in a gimmicky demonstration with Jim Carrey meant to clarify the distinction between movie and TV stars, Oh began a heartfelt soliloquy about diversity and inclusion.
Not everyone knew she wasn’t joking. “I wanted to be here to look out into this audience and witness this moment of change,” she said in a slightly melodramatic voice. “I see you,” she said, pointing to her right, followed by some anonymous laughter. It quickly stopped when Oh pointed to her left with the same gusto. It was microcosmic of the two hosts never really being in sync together or with the crowd.
Most Devilish Thank You: Christian Bale won Best Actor in a Musical/Comedy for his portrayal of Vice President Dick Cheney in Vice. Besides his wife, kids, film crew and makeup artists, who else did he thank? “Satan, for the inspiration,” he said casually. And for his next role? “What do you think, Mitch McConnell?” he asked the crowd.
Best Parents: Crazy Rich Asians was a worldwide hit this year, making over $200 million at the box office. During the opening monologue, Sandra Oh joked that Asian mothers showed their approval with a stiff smile and subtle eye roll. But halfway through the show, after winning best actress for Killing Eve, Oh’s parents cut through that stereotype with rousing applause and unmatchable smiles.
Worst Teleprompter Rehearsing: Based on the squints, the requests to roll back the script and the word fumbling, it didn’t appear that any presenters rehearsed their lines before the show. Only Dick Van Dyke, at 93 years old, could pull off a clean line reading, and without glasses. Emily Blunt, who whipped out her own spectacles, was thoroughly impressed.
Green Book won Best Screenplay because the writers capitalized "ENTIRE UNCUT PIZZA, FOLDS IT IN HALF AND TAKES A BITE" pic.twitter.com/gn4wN8bqQp— Matt Jacobs (@tarantallegra) January 7, 2019
Worst Win: Somebody, somewhere can make the case that Green Book was right to win Best Motion Picture Drama. But even they would be hard-pressed to explain it winning Best Screenplay. This is a movie that leans on a generic story arc that takes place in the Jim Crow south, featuring a white protagonist with an extremely limited vocabulary and unlimited appetite. You can commend Green Book for other things (Mahershala Ali, who won Best Supporting Actor, for example), but the writing was the least impressive part of this movie. Apologies to Vice, The Favourite and If Beale Street Could Talk.
Best Apology: Oh cleverly joked that Crazy Rich Asians was the first studio film with an Asian-American lead since Ghost in the Shell and Aloha!, two recent movies that notoriously received flak for casting white actresses (Scarlett Johansson and Emma Stone, respectively) to play Asian protagonists. In the midst of laughter, Stone let out a big and remorseful, “I’m Sorry!” from across the room. Even as the butt of a joke, she’s got timing.
Worst Tendencies: Every year, the HFPA wants to be cool or something, and champions a new show that most people haven’t seen or talked about. This year, its show of choice was The Kominsky Method, starring Michael Douglas, who took home his own Globe earlier in the night. Had anyone actually seen it? Netflix won’t say. It only gives out numbers for Bird Box.
Worst Gag: There is probably a better joke to make regarding the unhealthy percentage of Hollywood that subscribes to anti-vaccination theories than the one performed Sunday night. But Samberg and Oh, in the spirit of Jimmy Kimmel and Ellen Degeneres, engaged in another “humanizing” gag by bringing doctors armed with flu shots into the crowd. Willem Dafoe doesn’t want your needle near him, thank you very much. Samberg’s suggestion to “put a napkin over your head if you’re an anti-vaxxer” nearly saved the jest.
Best surprise: It’s a Pixar world and we’re just living in it. Or, we were, until Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse won the award for best-animated motion picture. Maybe the most noteworthy reaction, and biggest hint it had won, came when Michael B. Jordan peered over to see the envelope and let out an exclamatory “Oh yeah!” You can be sure he’s a Miles Morales fan.
Best Reality Check: Steve Carrell called introducing the newly minted Carol Burnett Award for Outstanding Achievement in Television the greatest honor of his life. That’s understandable since Burnett is considered the gold standard for comedy television. As she accepted the award and looked back on a montage of her variety show that lasted 11 seasons, Burnett offered some perspective. "Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming about being young again and doing it all over," she said. "Then I bring myself up sharp when I realize how incredibly fortunate I was to be there at the right time." With the diversity of shows and streaming platforms now, the opportunity to spend big on a 28-piece orchestra or corral guest stars each week wouldn’t be tenable today, she posited. No network would run her show the way it was, a sad and sobering truth. “Here’s to reruns and YouTube,” she said, dedicating the award to all those that made her dreams come true.
Worst Censor: As Carrell introduced Burnett, he began with some glowing words about her as a performer and a person, finishing with a joke that NBC made sure we missed. “It’s been said she makes Tom Hanks look like an asshole. I didn’t say it but it has been said.” The inaudible punch line, visible after reviewing the tape, isn’t as funny being lip-read.
Best Quip: Patricia Clarkson won for her performance in Sharp Objects and expressed gratitude for director Jean-Marc Vallée in a clever, powerful way. “You demanded everything of me, except sex, which is exactly how it should be in our industry.”
Most Predictable Win: As soon as “Shallow,” the now iconic tune from A Star Is Born, was awarded best song, Lady Gaga began to cry. Mark Ronson filled the speech void until Gaga, a vision in blue, took over on the microphone, expounding on the challenges of being taken seriously as a female artist. Unfortunately, she didn’t grab the mic with her signature aahhhHHHHAAAaaaaaa lead-in.
Worst Marriage Proposal Timing: If you’re someone who believes that a sports stadium is the ideal place to get down on a knee and pop the question, you probably fell in love with Maya Rudolph taking up some meaningless presenting time to shakily propose to Amy Poehler. If you’re normal, you know that a proposal on live television in the middle of an awards show is a very precarious proposition. It’s unclear whether Poehler said yes mostly because the two of them began to rub each others’ faces together as the nominees came on screen. (On a real note, this was a delightful sideshow and proof that some SNL stars are just really good at this).
Best Shoutout: Olivia Coleman is a delight. She’s a delight in The Favourite, yes, but also in the way she addresses the people close to her. “Thank you most muchly,” she told director Yorgos Lanthimos, in wonderful British jargon, after accepting her best actress award. “And my bitches,” eyeing Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz, inducing laughter and more reasons to find Olivia Coleman an absolute delight.
Best Speech: It took her some time to find her memory, thank the appropriate helpers and catch her breath, and then Regina King found her groove. Winning for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama for If Beale Street Could Talk, King explained how, after watching this movie, her son said it was the first time he’d really seen himself. Then she pivoted and made a promise. “I'm going to use my platform. In the next two years, I am making a vow to make sure that everything I produce is 50 percent women, and I challenge anyone out there in a position of power in all industries to challenge yourself and stand with us in solidarity.” That earned raucous applause and reminded everyone that Time’s Up is not just a button to wear.
Highest Speech: I would only imagine it’s everyone’s dream to have his or her career neatly summarized and narrated by Sam Elliott’s soulful vocals. That dream became reality for Jeff Bridges, who was bestowed the Cecil B. DeMille Award. What followed was one of the more Dude-like acceptance speeches of our time, a stream of consciousness message of gratitude and quasi-philosophy that spotlighted the work of Scott Cooper, Steve Kloves, the Coen Brothers, Michael Cimino, and Buckminster Fuller. The latter prompted a story about the functional use of a “trim tab” on the rudder of a boat, representing how we’re all an individual part of society. “All of us are trim tabs," he said. "It may seem that we're not up to the take, but we are, man. We're alive. We can make a difference. We can turn this ship in the way we want to go, man. Towards love, to creating a healthy planet for all of us." It was wonderful, and wonderfully Jeff Bridges, and that’s not just, like, my opinion, man.
Weirdest Non-Thank You: Rami Malek, winner of the Best Actor Drama award for his impersonation of Freddie Mercury, had the unenviable task of expressing gratitude for everyone that worked on Bohemian Rhapsody. He ran through a series of names, including the members of Queen on hand, but notably left out Bryan Singer, the movie’s director who was fired two weeks before filming ended amid reports of “on-set chaos.” Singer has also been accused multiple times of sexual misconduct, though he’s denied those reports. His absence, both in name and from the stage, after Rhapsody won Best Motion Picture Drama, was particularly awkward.
Worst Follow Through: Oh and Samberg warned everyone at the top of the show that at the night’s conclusion, one lucky audience member would be chosen to host the Oscars. Understandably but unfortunately, they didn’t make good on that promise. Jim Carrey was right there, you guys!
Best "Supporting" Role: We can't leave without mentioning the FIJI water girl, Kelleth Cuthbert who worked out a strategy to achieve the best photobomb. 'It's all strategic,' she said. 'You've got to angle.' Well, it certainly paid off.
The fiji water girl is serving LOOKS. Opportunity seeking at its finest. Get it queen! pic.twitter.com/LfgiKvG3bQ— Alex Grigorian (@alexgrigorian_) January 7, 2019
From: Esquire US