It's been a big year, and somehow it isn't even over yet. The last 10 months has seen Brexit, Trump, Harambe and the Rio Olympics. In pop culture Taylor Swift was branded a snake, Kim K was tied up and robbed and we all got addicted to Stranger Things (it's a total retro gem, you know?)
The upside? Plenty of inspiration for Halloween, which if you're doing it right will involve wearing some sort of tasteless costume while drinking supermarket brand spirits mixed with tropical fruit juice stood amongst some budget paper spiders.
So forget being a vampire for the sixteenth year in a row, and give one of these topical options a spin. Because if we don't laugh at this year, we'll never stop crying.
The dying remains of Swiddleswift
Back in July we closely documented the Shakespearian rise and fall of Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift. He a thespian would-be Bond, she a country singer from Nashville. Their break-up sent ripples through the western world, as did a certain vest Hiddleston was guilty of wearing proclaiming his love for her—also known as the moment it became clear Tom would not be 007.
Nothing is more haunting than a man who has so outwardly given up on his dignity. Nothing more distressing than believing immortalising your love on a vest is romantic. Imitate chagrinned Hiddles with minimal effort by scrawling 'I ❤ T.S' onto a white vest and pair with soul-searching eyes and the look of a man who's given up on himself.
Ryan Lochte at gunpoint
The Rio olympics were a crowning moment of sporting achievement, a time to come together as a nation. American swimmer and gold medallist Ryan Lochte didn't seem to get the memo and lied to the police about being held at gunpoint in Rio.
Whilst the Kim Kardashian robbery costume might have caused a backlash, Lochte is clearly a tool that deserves trolling this All Hallows' Eve. Pull that lonely bottle of Sun In from the back of your cupboard and have a few frosted tips peaking out of a swimming hat. Chuck a gold medal round your neck, tie your hands behind your back and put some duct tape over your mouth. Voila—victimhood!
Striking fear into the heart of Brexiteers, the Bremoaner is a dark, unpatriotic beast who is plotting to "subvert the will of the British people". Or you know—try to stop us from having to live in a bin this time next year.
It's not a 58 percent rise in hate crime, a plummeting pound or the threat of rocketing inflation we should fear—it's moaning from the losing side! Haven't you read the Keep Calm and Carry On signs? Stop wingeing pal! Fashion a suit of of the EU Flag for your Bremoaner costume—particularly emotional if you tipex out the UK's star—and smudge your eyes for a teary whinger look.
In a way, Harambe never died because he still lives on in each of us. But if we're getting technical, the gorilla was gunned down by Cincinnati Zoo earlier this year after a child climbed into his enclosure. Harambe will likely prove a popular choice this year, with even a sexy gorilla costume now available online (further proof we need punishing as a species).
If you're concerned about not standing out from the masses, then the gorilla who recently escaped from an enclosure at London Zoo and snaffled five bottles of squash is the hipster alternative you're looking for. Just attach some empty Robinson's bottles to your costume and be sure to capture the reckless abandon of a dehydrated primate in your method acting.
For several weeks of the summer the highlight of your day was catching a Jigglypuff on the way to work, we had Pokémon Go and we were happy. The creature catching app is hosting an in-game halloween event so there is no better time than to dress up like a Pokémon and launch yourself from hidden bushes to terrify the idiots hunting you. Cover your costume in blood to ensure people know you're in costume and not hired for a children's party or new trainer launch
BoJo the killer clown
The killer clown craze sweeping the UK will undoubtedly bleed into Halloween producing terror en masse, ending with many arrests and pun-heavy newspaper headlines. Give your outfit the edge of debonair sophistication by playing BoJo the killer clown: master of psychological warfare.
A harmless prankster, a fool who gets stuck on a zip-wire, the man who dared the UK into pushing the self-destruct button. What japes. Get a floppy sand coloured wig, stuff a pillow under your suit, attach 'Vote Leave' and 'I'm IN' badges to either lapel and cover your nose with a comical red clown nose.
This year's 'Heath Ledger Joker' looks set to be Donald Trump so your local pub will be filled with badly tanned faces, drawn on jowls, bulging white shirts and dead squirrel wigs. Instead, stick Trump where it really hurts and remind him of the terrible debate faux pas when he called illegal immigrants, 'Bad Hombres'.
Recreate scenes of The Donald's worse nightmares by forming your own mariachi band of bad bad hombres complete with this badge. Don't worry, it isn't cultural appropriation if you're pointing out the blatant racism of the kind of tyrant who wants to Build A Wall.
As aforementioned, the achingly cooool Stranger Things has shown it is going to be huge this Halloweeen. According to Lyst searches for Eleven, costumes have skyrocketed as far back as September. Avoid this at costs: you do not look good in a Peter Pan collar dress and knee high American Apparel socks.
And don't think Barb is the hipster alternative that will win people over either. If you must do a Stranger Things costume, this is the only acceptable attempt we've seen.
From: Esquire UK