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In honour of the singer and activist's 57th birthday, a look at what life is like when you're Paul David Hewson, aka Bono.
When you're Bono, you stand on rooftops with this hair.
You toss your jacket in the air and start dancing in an odd puddle of liquid while wearing dangerously high heels.
You're lit. Almost.
When you're Bono, you don't sit on the bench. You sit on the back of the bench.
And you wear this whole look.
Also, you take your shirt off on stage.
And you side-eye a woman in a park in Japan. Your bandmates do not.
When you're Bono, you wear hats.
And when you're wearing hats, you drink Heineken. From a can.
You also spray people with champagne.
And wear a makeshift sling.
And you sit on Sunset Boulevard and check out legs.
Later, you mesmerize fanatic crowds and the lone security guard protecting you from them.
When you're finished, you smoke a cigar...with that hair. In that jacket.
When you're Bono, you wear this and yell at that.
Then you relax. On a rooftop.
When you're Bono, you pose a little bit like Jesus.
But also dress up as the Devil.
And you wear bug glasses and crawl on the ground.
And flash the peace sign.
Like, a lot.
A lot, a lot. With all sorts of people.
In all sorts of places.
When you're Bono, you wear actual muscle shirts....K.
And you eat people's fingers.
And you try to kick The Edge's guitar but fall in the process.
But then you turn it into a planned nap on stage. Because you're Bono.
And in your downtime, you do things like speak at a conference on world debt relief at the US Capitol.
You receive honorary degrees.
And high honors (Commandeur de l'Ordre des Arts et Lettres) from foreign countries.
You buy your best friend a cake. And sparklers...that might also be road flares.
And, of course, you meet with the Pope (with your famous fly glasses in hand).
When you're Bono, Bowie loves you.
And you hang out with this guy.
And this woman.
And this dude (accentuated by hip-thrust).
Not to mention, this fella.
And this nerd. (Nerd love.)
And some guy named Judd.
And this gentleman.
And perhaps above all, this man.
Sometimes, you're thrilled!
You travel the world (and enlist your friends) to bring attention to the AIDS epidemic.
And because of your efforts (and career), you're knighted.
But you're content with a slice of NYC pizza.
And on your birthday, for some reason...you walk into a crowd of strangers and drink. A FULL BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE.
Happy Birthday, B. Yours is a life well-lived.
The hottest bar in town right now.
Maybe it will be fine. Maybe not. Let's talk about it.
So much foreshadowing...
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Bacon! Hash browns! Eggs! All before work!